Showing posts with label insane. Show all posts
Showing posts with label insane. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Top 10 Most Funny Jokes...
Top 10 Most Funny Jokes
1- Animal Joke
The front door was accidentally left open and our dog was gone. After unsuccessfully whistling and calling, my husband got in the car and went looking for him.
He drove around the neighborhood for some time with no luck. Finally he stopped beside a couple out for a walk and asked if they had seen our dog.
You mean the one following your car? they asked.
2- Bar Joke
A ghost walks into a bar at midnight, and asks the bartender for a Whisky. The bartender says " Sorry we don't serve spirits after 11"
3- Blonde Joke
Q. What did the blonde say to the physicist?
A. "Why, I just _love_ nuclear fission! What do you use forbait?"
4- Celebrity Joke
What were Dodi's last words?
'Faster! Faster!'
Hint: The driver misunderstood the expressions of pleasure for orders... hence the accident.
5- Clean Joke
The Senate is investigating deceptive sweepstakes practices.
These companies target the elderly and make them think they will receive a bunch of money, but in reality they never see any of it.
The most popular of these scams is called Social Security
6- Computer Joke
How does a UNIX expert have sex?
Unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; yes; unmount; sleep.
7- Dirty Joke
"After 10 years of marriage, sex with my wife is down to three times a year."
"Same here, Pal. As a matter of fact, if mine didn't sleep with her mouth open, I'd have none at all."
8- Fart Joke
What do farts and Enrique Iglesias have in common?
a. They were both raised on beans.
b. They both have brown things on their cheeks.
c. They both have trouble singing in tight pants.
c. They both stink.
9- Free Joke
What did Jack Frost say to Frosty the Snowman?
Have an ice day!
10- Funny Joke
How can you tell when you're in bed with Count Dracula?
He has a big D on his pajamas
Free Jokes Poetry
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mohsin_Sheikh
1- Animal Joke
The front door was accidentally left open and our dog was gone. After unsuccessfully whistling and calling, my husband got in the car and went looking for him.
He drove around the neighborhood for some time with no luck. Finally he stopped beside a couple out for a walk and asked if they had seen our dog.
You mean the one following your car? they asked.
2- Bar Joke
A ghost walks into a bar at midnight, and asks the bartender for a Whisky. The bartender says " Sorry we don't serve spirits after 11"
3- Blonde Joke
Q. What did the blonde say to the physicist?
A. "Why, I just _love_ nuclear fission! What do you use forbait?"
4- Celebrity Joke
What were Dodi's last words?
'Faster! Faster!'
Hint: The driver misunderstood the expressions of pleasure for orders... hence the accident.
5- Clean Joke
The Senate is investigating deceptive sweepstakes practices.
These companies target the elderly and make them think they will receive a bunch of money, but in reality they never see any of it.
The most popular of these scams is called Social Security
6- Computer Joke
How does a UNIX expert have sex?
Unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; yes; unmount; sleep.
7- Dirty Joke
"After 10 years of marriage, sex with my wife is down to three times a year."
"Same here, Pal. As a matter of fact, if mine didn't sleep with her mouth open, I'd have none at all."
8- Fart Joke
What do farts and Enrique Iglesias have in common?
a. They were both raised on beans.
b. They both have brown things on their cheeks.
c. They both have trouble singing in tight pants.
c. They both stink.
9- Free Joke
What did Jack Frost say to Frosty the Snowman?
Have an ice day!
10- Funny Joke
How can you tell when you're in bed with Count Dracula?
He has a big D on his pajamas
Free Jokes Poetry
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mohsin_Sheikh
Random Joke of the Day....
Brother John entered the "Monastery of Silence" and the Abbott said,
"Brother, this is a silent monastery; you are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so."
Brother John lived in the monastery for five years before the Abbott said to him, "Brother John, you have been here five years now; you may speak two words."
Brother John said, "Hard bed."
"I'm sorry to hear that," the Abbot said. "We will get you a better bed."
After another five years, Brother John was called by the Abbott. "You may say another two words, Brother John."
"Cold food," said Brother John, and the Abbott assured him that the food would be better in the future.
On his 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Abbott again call Brother John into his office. "Two words you may say today."
"I quit," said Brother John.
"It is probably best, you've done nothing but complain since you got here."
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"Brother, this is a silent monastery; you are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so."
Brother John lived in the monastery for five years before the Abbott said to him, "Brother John, you have been here five years now; you may speak two words."
Brother John said, "Hard bed."
"I'm sorry to hear that," the Abbot said. "We will get you a better bed."
After another five years, Brother John was called by the Abbott. "You may say another two words, Brother John."
"Cold food," said Brother John, and the Abbott assured him that the food would be better in the future.
On his 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Abbott again call Brother John into his office. "Two words you may say today."
"I quit," said Brother John.
"It is probably best, you've done nothing but complain since you got here."
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Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
Roast Beef and pea soup
What's the difference between pea soup and roast beef?
Anyone can roast beef
Anyone can roast beef
Two Cannibals Eating
Two cannibals just got their hands on a corpse. One says to the other, "I'l start at the head, you start at the feet." They start to eat and after awhile the one at the head yells to the other one, "Hey, how's it going?" The other replies"I'm having a ball!" Getting mad, the one at the head yells, "Dammit, slow down you're eating too fast!" Next Joke > Send a Friend This Joke
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